Writer

Look what just arrived from Amazon!

Look what just arrived from Amazon!

animalstalkinginallcaps:

Alas, my fine editors don’t believe the blog-to-book buying public is smart enough to ‘get’ a literary sight-gag…


That’s because:
(a) They didn’t get it; and/or
(b) They don’t know your readers. Until they add a demographic category for bitingly smart, witty and funny with a tinge of pathos, and the fans thereof, they won’t know what to do with you.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

Alas, my fine editors don’t believe the blog-to-book buying public is smart enough to ‘get’ a literary sight-gag…

That’s because:

(a) They didn’t get it; and/or

(b) They don’t know your readers. Until they add a demographic category for bitingly smart, witty and funny with a tinge of pathos, and the fans thereof, they won’t know what to do with you.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

YOU KNOW I DON’T FIND THAT KIND OF NASTY TALK FUNNY, EARL. IT ISN’T SEXY EITHER.  I’VE GOT OVER FOUR HUNDRED ROMANTIC ADVENTURE NOVELS IN THE HALL CLOSET AND THERE’S NOT ONE DASHING HERO IN ANY OF THEM THAT USES THE KIND OF DIRTY PHRASES YOU DO. WHY CAN’T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE A GENTLEMAN? 
PLUS YOU’VE NEVER SPIRITED ME AWAY FROM DANGER ON HORSEBACK. NOT ONCE.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

YOU KNOW I DON’T FIND THAT KIND OF NASTY TALK FUNNY, EARL. IT ISN’T SEXY EITHER.  I’VE GOT OVER FOUR HUNDRED ROMANTIC ADVENTURE NOVELS IN THE HALL CLOSET AND THERE’S NOT ONE DASHING HERO IN ANY OF THEM THAT USES THE KIND OF DIRTY PHRASES YOU DO. WHY CAN’T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE A GENTLEMAN? 

PLUS YOU’VE NEVER SPIRITED ME AWAY FROM DANGER ON HORSEBACK. NOT ONCE.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DRIVER, I WISH TO SEE THE OCEAN.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DRIVER, I WISH TO SEE THE OCEAN.